How the Grinch Stole Dragon Age
by StarFangWolf
Summary: This is the second time I've had to post this. If it got taken off the first time because someone got offended and flagged it, then I'd appreciate it if that person, and any one like that, would grow up. I gave ample warning, and I'm going to do so again. This fanfic has graphic violence and detailed sex! You! Have! Been! Warned!
1. Chapter 1

_You can thank Hikari86 for this monstrosity. We were joking with each other around Christmas time, and one of the things she said gave me the idea for this. It's been bugging me ever since, so I decided to write it and get it out of my system. This is only the first part. The second part will come after I write it. Enjoy if you can._

_I don't own Dragon Age or the Grinch._

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My head was pounding as I raised my hand to rub at my eyes, only my arm felt heavy, and instead of my hand I felt the cool touch of metal against my face. My eyes snapped open as I tried to sit up, only to find my entire body weighted down and then fall back onto the bed. I looked down at my body and found that instead of my loose red muscle shirt and Angry Birds fleece pajama pants, I was wearing a full set of silver light plate armor, grieves and gauntlets included! I sat up carefully as I looked around the room, which was _definitely_ not mine.

The room was made of grey stone, like what you'd find in a medieval castle, and was even furnished like one. Spotting a full body mirror across the room, I got off the four-post bed and walked over to it. When I reached the mirror and looked into it, I was shocked. The face in the mirror was mine, but it was also different. My cheeks weren't as chubby as before, and my jaw was less square. I could see clearly, even though I wasn't wearing my glasses or my contacts, and I was completely clean-shaven. My dark brown hair was longer, down to my cheeks and parted down the middle. I also noticed that the armor was slimmer than I thought it was, and yet I didn't feel uncomfortable in the waist or abdomen. That extra twenty pounds I'd been trying to lose was just…gone. All in all, I looked more like the O.C. from my Naruto chat YouTube videos, Fang, than I did myself. The only difference was my eyes were still grayish-blue instead of the molten gold I'd imagined for Fang.

In other words, this was obviously a dream.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a winged helmet, a longsword, and a small targe shield on a desk.

"Aw fuck." If my dream was giving me plate armor and a sword and shield, then I was in for some serious shit. I put the helmet on over my head and picked up the sword and shield before turning back to the mirror. The overall effect of the armor and weaponry was…heroic.

"I look like a Grey Warden," I said to myself. With that said, I could see that the armor and weapons looked more like silverite that regular silver, as well as that the shield had a razor's edge. I spent a moment swinging, twisting, and bending my arms and legs, trying to get a feel for the armor. There was almost no restriction to my movement, which meant that the armor was articulated. An excellent balance between protection and mobility, the ideal armor for my style of fighting; wild and reckless.

Deciding that it was time to get out of this room, I headed over to the closed door across the room. I stood there for a moment as I tried to psyche myself up. I bounced on the balls of my feet, I cracked my neck, and I took long breaths through my mouth. It was what I usually did while playing horror games when I just_ knew_ that the big bad monster that was hunting me was just behind the next door, or just around the next corner. Even though this dream might be classified under RPG instead of horror, I was willing to bet that I was going to be shitting myself before I woke up.

My hand closed around the doorknob, and almost as if by instinct I paused and cast my senses about, as if I could feel the air with my very essence. Somehow, I knew there wouldn't be anything behind the door. Regardless, as I slowly creaked the door open, I made sure to lead with my sword as I checked both to the right and left.

Door opened up to a hallway, much as I had strangely expected. A dark green rug stretched across the stone floor going from one way to the other, and the hallway was lit with torches. Mine was the only door as far as I could see, except for a single door at the far end of the right side of the hallway. Again I cast my senses about, only this time down the hallway and through the door.

Immediately I felt something that I'd never experienced before; a corruption so vile it made my skin crawl. I could hear a low, soft humming within my head, like a voice trying to speak to me, and I tasted bile in my mouth. It was a wrong, yet strangely familiar feeling, like an evil twin brother, or something.

"Darkspawn." Somehow, I just _knew_ that I was right. There were darkspawn behind that door, and a lot of them. Gritting my teeth a marched down the hallway and placed a hand on the doorknob before hesitating slightly. Now that I was closer, perhaps I could sense how many darkspawn there were? It would definitely help if I knew what I was up against. So, as if I'd been doing it all my life, I opened myself up to the Taint.

I almost pulled back when I felt how many there were. I could sense several hurlocks and genlocks, and I could even tell which ones were alphas. I might've taken the time to count how many there were, but then another presence touched my mind. It was heavy with corruption, but it felt alien, like with was more than a darkspawn and yet not quite. I felt the presence's anger, and I knew that it knew that I was there.

"Fuck it." I kicked open the door and marched straight it. Every darkspawn in the room turned to me with an angry snarl, and at the far side of the room, right where I knew it would be, was a Disciple, a creature even more unnatural than regular darkspawn, formed from a reverse of the Grey Warden Joining ritual.

"_He must not be allowed to reach the Master!"_ the Disciple screeched, leveling a gnarled metal staff with a scythe-like blade on the end at me. _"Kill the Warden!"_

Like a swarm of angry, ugly bees, the darkspawn rushed in from all angles to attack me. I parried the blade of a hurlock with my sword before hitting it in the face with the pommel. I then turned and jammed the razor edge of my shield into the chest of another hurlock. I then kicked an axe out of a genlock's hand as it attacked me before burying my sword in it's chest.

Left and right I fought, staying mostly on the defensive as I was assaulted from all sides. And yet no matter how many times I swung my sword, no matter how many blows struck my shield, no matter how many breaths I took, I never stopped, never faltered. My stamina seemed endless, my strength boundless. And I predicted, no, _knew_ every move the darkspawn made before they could make them. It was like I was in their heads, and I moved in accordance with what I felt through the Taint. I realized with dawning anticipation that all of this could only amount to one thing. The Disciple even confirmed it with it's own words. I didn't just _look_ like a Grey Warden…

I _was_ a Grey Warden!

I leveled my gaze at the Disciple as I jammed my shield into the last hurlock. Now it was just me and him. Mano y freako. The Disciple snarled at me before raising its staff and charging up mana for a spell.

"Pfft, like I'm actually gonna let you _finish!_" I roared the last word as I charged the Disciple, fully intent on stopping it from casting its spell. It pointed its staff at me as I closed the distance, but I batted its staff to the side with my sword. I tried to follow up with a pommel strike to its ugly face, but it caught my wrist. I was so surprised that I forgot to block the Disciple's staff as it struck me in the head. I reeled away from the blow, using the momentum to turn myself completely around instead of trying to stop. I immediately had to raise my shield as a torrent of flames spewed from the Disciple's staff.

I lowered my shield as the flames ended, and took a brief moment to rethink my strategy. There was one particular detail I'd forgotten about Disciples; they were smart. And just as darkspawn blood ran through my veins, so too did Grey Warden blood run through its. It made sense that it'd be able to read my movements like I could read its. I allowed myself a smirk at the prospect of a worthy opponent. If I was going to win this, I was gonna have to go all out on this fucker.

I decided to do what I do best, and charged in headfirst. The Disciple tried to take my head off with the blade of its staff, but I ducked under it, turning as I swung my shield at its side. The Disciple jumped out of the way, and I immediately pursued. I swung my sword down at it, the blade striking the Disciple's staff. I pushed the blade up until I caught the staff against the cross guard, pushing the staff out of the way as I delivered a powerful heel kick to the Disciple's chest.

The fight carried on for several minutes, with me staying on the offensive the entire time. The Disciple could still read my movements through the Taint as I could, but I attacked with such ferocity that there really wasn't anything it could do. Every time it got past my offense, I'd get right up in its disgusting grill, where it didn't have the elbow room to fight back, and my assault would continue.

To the Disciple's credit, it was doing a very good job of staying alive. I knew that at the wild rate I was attacking, I was bound to leave an opening large enough for the Disciple to stick me, and yet I didn't dare let up. If I wanted to win, then I needed to throw off the Disciple's focus. And just like that, my ADHD enhanced brain came up with the _perfect_ idea. I opened my mind to the Taint, and let myself think of the most disturbing image I could muster…Fenris and Anders fucking.

The Disciple had its staff raised, but it immediately tensed up as it got the same mental image through the Taint. A look passed over its face that I would've found hilarious if I wasn't fighting for my life. As it were, I took the opening presented to me and chopped off the Disciple's staff hand with my sword. I then turned and jammed my shield into its abdomen, and began pushing it back until we reached a wall. I then pinned the Disciple against the wall with my shield in its chest.

"You said you had a master," I said. Were it any other darkspawn I would've just killed it, but I could probably get some useful information out of this one. Or at the very least I could practice my intimidation. I kinda suck at it. "Is it the Architect? Tell me, and I _might_ let you live." Right, like this fucker was gonna last much longer with this wound, anyway. The Disciple gave a wheezing, gurgling chuckle as black blood seeped from its chest and mouth.

"_You are too late…Warden…"_ the Disciple wheezed. _"He has already…taken them…"_

"Who? Who has he taken?" I demanded. I had a mounting sense of dread. It was almost like I already knew who the Disciple was talking about.

"_The elf…and the…bard…"_ My stomach clenched and my anger rose as thoughts of red locks and raven braids entered my mind.

Leliana. Merrill.

I ripped my shield out of the Disciple's chest and slammed it into its throat, decapitating it in the process. Without waiting for the body to hit the floor, I rushed off through a second door in the room I hadn't noticed before. Instead of a single hallway and a single door, I was met with many twists and turns, and more doors than I wanted to look through.

Instead, I ran, casting my senses for any sign of the Taint. As I ran, my surroundings began to change. Garland and holly decorated the walls, torches were replaced by multi-colored Christmas lights, and a wreath was hung on every door. I hesitated for a moment, thinking how weird it was to see Christmas decorations everywhere, when out of the blue I felt a source of corruption, a very strong source. It felt strange, though, even stranger than the Disciple. It didn't matter; if there were darkspawn there, then there was a good chance that Leliana and Merrill were there, too. I took off in the direction of the source, not stopping until it lead me to a door, which I kicked open.

The first thing I noticed was the room's décor. There were more Christmas lights along the walls, but the room was mostly lit by a fireplace, over which hung several stockings. A large Christmas tree stood off to the side near the fireplace, decked out in lights, candy canes and other ornaments, and topped off with a golden, glowing star.

The second thing I noticed were the darkspawn.

They were hideous, grotesque creatures, more so than normal darkspawn. They looked a bit like shrieks, but they long noses with bulbous tips. It was like what happened to Tamlen in a Dalish elf play-through of Origins, but with a bunch of Whos from Whoville. And in the very back, his fur and skin stained black, wearing a torn Santa suit with a darkspawn sword at his belt and carrying a large sack over his shoulder, was the Grinch.

At first the Grinch seemed angry to see me there, but then his snarl turned into a devious sneer as he put down his sack. I couldn't help but notice that the sack was moving, and I could hear muffled sounds coming from it, like someone who was gagged.

"Well would you looky here," the Grinch said, making me cringe as I recognized Jim Carrey's voice. "Looks like we have ourselves a little _troublemaker_."

"I know you have the girls," I said, trying to make myself sound bold and forceful. "Let them go, or _else_."

"Or what?" the Grinch cooed, putting his hands on his knees and waggling his head. "You'll throw me in the dungeon?"

"I'm a Grey Warden," I said, leveling my sword at him. "My job isn't to arrest darkspawn; it's to _kill_ them!"

"Oh re-he-_healy_?" the Grinch said, jacking off Ace Ventura's catchphrase. He then gave the 'bring it' sign with his hands. "C'mon. Show me whatcha got."

"Never thought I'd say this," and I really didn't, "but fuck you, Jim." I charged forward, and the darkspawn Whos ran forward to meet me. I jumped straight into the middle of them, intending to carve my way through and straight to the big, hairy, rotten cheese, but the Whos were a little smarter than I gave them credit for. They cut me off and surrounded me, lashing out with their sharp, elongated nails. They didn't have the blades on their wrists like shrieks, but those nails could still do some damage, _if_ I wasn't wearing full plate armor. It was hardly a fair fight, as the only _real_ advantage they had over me was numbers. With no weapons or armor and no real combat skills, the little guys just didn't stand a chance. I almost felt sorry for them as I cut them down. _Almost._

Throughout the entire fight, the Grinch stood near the fireplace doing various things like fake yawning, leaning against the wall, digging through the stockings _and_ his ear, and basically acting like he had nothing to worry about. This, of course, pissed me off, so I doubled my efforts and began cutting down the Whos with great fervor. By the time I ran the last one through with my sword, the Grinch was busy doing a comical jumpy-clappy dance. That immediately stopped, however, as I pushed the Who off of my blade and onto the floor. The Grinch glanced from side to side, probably figuring out what to do next. Apparently he thought of something, because he donned sneaky, clever little smirk like when he thought of a lie to tell Cindy Lou Who.

"So, you like to play hero?" he said as he drew his sword off his belt. "Think you can handle…_playing with the big boys?!_" He used his deep, Shakespeare voice for the last bit as he thrust his sword into the air…and got it stuck in the ceiling.

The Grinch tried pulling the sword out, even going as far as to hang upside-down and pushing his feet against the ceiling. I shook my head, wondering why the hell I ever found this guy funny as I rushed forward and swung my sword at him. However, at the last second the sword broke free and the Grinch fell beneath my swing and kicked me in the stomach from the floor.

I landed in the middle of the floor on my back, thankfully not landing on any of the darkspawn Whos. However, my head hit the floor hard, causing the inside of my helmet to ring. I tore the helmet off of my head as I sat up and tossed it to the side. I felt immediate relief, but I didn't have time to enjoy it as the Grinch was already back on his feet. The Grinch leaped at me with his sword raised, and I had to roll to the side to avoid having my head split in two. Rising to my feet, I swung my sword up at the Grinch, just narrowly missing his throat. A few black hairs fell to the floor, and the Grinch felt his face before giving me an annoyed look.

"It's _Shave and a Haircut_, not _Shave and a Headcut_!" he said.

"Oh yeah? Well here's my two piece!" I yelled as I swung my sword at him again. The Grinch swung his sword at mine, and my sword shattered as our swings carried us just past each other. I quickly flipped what was left of my blade as I turned and stabbed it into the Grinch's stomach.

The Grinch yelled in pain and gave me a murderous glare before knocking me aside with his arm. I flew across the room and slammed into the wall before landing on the floor on my knees. I had to catch myself before I fell over completely. My chest hurt, and I had to gasp to replace the air that got knocked out of me. I heard the Grinch growl from across the room, and I looked up to see him hoisting the Christmas tree over his head. I had a brief moment to remember him doing the same thing in the movie before he threw the tree at me. Doing th only thing I could think of, I turned around, kicked off the wall, and back flipped over the tree as it crashed into the wall. Letting go of my shield and catching it by the second strap, I turned around and hurled it at the Grinch. The Grinch gave one last 'uh-oh' look before the shield's razor edge removed his head.

I wiped the sweat from my brow as the Grinch's headless corpse hit the floor. _That_ had to have been the single most badass thing I've ever done. Might revelry was short lived, though, as I noticed the sack the Grinch had been carrying on the floor. Remembering why I had to kill Dr. Seuss's most beloved character _other_ than the Cat in the Hat, I ran to the sack and opened it up. Inside were Leliana and Merrill, bound and gagged, just as I'd expected. What I _didn't_ expect was for them to be completely naked.

I caught myself staring for a brief moment, and I shook any dirty thoughts out of my head. I was here to save them, not gawk at them! I went over to the Grinch's corpse and pulled the broken sword out of his belly. I wiped the black blood off on the Grinch's fur before going back to the girls. The first thing I did was cut Leliana's hands free. With that done, she pulled the clothe that was gagging her out of her mouth, gasping and coughing a little.

"Maker bless you, Warden," she said. "I _knew_ you'd come!"

"Can you untie your feet?" I asked, and Leliana nodded. As she began to do that, I turned to Merrill and cut her hands and feet free. Once Merrill was free, she curled in on herself. She looked like she was scared nearly to death. Leliana scootched over to her and put a comforting arm around her. Now I'll admit that I'm a bit of a pervert, but seeing these two beautiful, naked women holding each other, the only thing that I could think of was think I needed to get them out of here. I looked around for the Grinch's sword and picked it up.

"Come on," I said as I turned to the girls. "First we'll find y'all some clothes, and then we're getting out of here."

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_A.N. Well, here it is! I bet you won't find anything like it in _this_ fandom!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey everybody! I know I've been gone a long time, and I apologize for that. Just know that I'm back, and I intend to stay!_

_Warning! This chapter contains a lemon! If you don't like or are under the age of 18, skip it! You have been warned!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age. If I did, DA3 would be for PS3 and XBox 360 and NOT for next gen!_

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My footsteps echoed eerily as I trudged down the Holiday Hall, Leliana and Merrill following close behind me. I had checked every room I passed after leaving the Christmas Room, but I had yet to find a bedroom. Several storerooms and what looked like a medieval bathroom, but no bedroom. I was resisting the urge to look back and check on the girls, the sole reason being that they were still naked. Even though I couldn't sense any more darkspawn, I kept my shield half raised and the darkspawn sword gripped tight. Cause like any Dragon Age fan knows, darkspawn, while often the main threat, are only about a fifth of the enemies in Thedas. There could very easily be walking corpses, giant spiders, blood mages, or even qunari. Though now that I thought about it, we were more likely to be attacked by Tal Vashoth than qunari.

I opened another door and had reflexively begun to walk away when I realized that it _was_ a bedroom. What tipped me off? The large canopy bed. I walked in and scanned the room for a wardrobe or an armoire, assuming there's even a difference. I spotted one across the room against the wall. As I made my way to it, I happened to notice a piece of mistletoe hanging just in front of the armoire, and for a split second I hesitated. I normally make it a point to avoid mistletoe, lest some gay guy or a girl I don't particularly care for catches me under it. But then I remembered that this was Thedas; they didn't _have_ Christmas! Even if Leliana and Merrill were in any mood for smooching, they wouldn't even _know_ that tradition. A tad disappointing, considering it was them, but hey, some squares have candy corn instead of chocolate.

Ignoring the mistletoe, I walked up to the armoire and opened one of the doors, my sword raised, _just_ in case. Instead of a growling monkey pointing his finger at me, I found a set of leather armor, a bow, a quiver of arrows, and a pair of polished daggers. I opened the other door and made a sound of triumphant glee as I recognized Merrill's tunic, chain mail, and staff. _Damn_ I hit the jackpot!

"Come here, I found something for y'all," I said, _still_ not looking behind me. I then felt a pair of arms snake their way around my neck as a body pressed itself against my back.

"We have something for you, too," I heard Leliana say huskily in my ear.

"We want to thank you for saving us," Merrill said as she took the darkspawn sword from my hand and pressed herself against my arm. My eyes widened, my heart raced, and I think the lower part of my armor went _ding_ as I realized that _this_ square had a freaking Cadbury Egg!

"Okay," was all I could say, and even that was in a small voice. I let Leliana turn me around as she pressed herself against the front of my body. I had a moment to notice that she was a couple of inches taller than me before her lips were on mine. I closed my eyes in bliss as our lips molded together, mouth eagerly opening when she licked my lips, asking for entrance. I put my hands on her hips and pulled her closer, as much so as my armor would let me.

While Leliana and I were making out, I could feel Merrill begin to undue the straps on my armor. Deciding that she had the right idea, I broke the kiss between me and Leliana and began undoing the straps on my gauntlets, while Leliana began undoing another piece of armor. Between the three of us, it was only a couple of minutes before I was down to a pair of brown slacks and a green long sleeved tunic.

With my armor now removed, Leliana and Merrill each took one of my hands and led me over to the bed. Merrill sat down on the bed first and scootched backwards to the pillows, beckoning me with a finger. Not one to disappoint a lady, I crawled onto the bed after her, helping her remove my tunic when her hands grasped at it's hem. With that done I laid down on top of the little elf, using my elbows to hold myself up so I didn't crush her. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she pulled my head down for a deep kiss. I grazed my tongue against her lips, asking for entrance, which she eagerly granted. Her tongue met my own and welcomed it to it's home as they caressed.

A hand on my back and a kiss on my shoulder reminded me that Leliana was there, too. Breaking away from Merrill, I sat back on my heels as I turned to the voluptuous bard, who gifted me with a heated kiss. She then bent down and took one of Merrill's pert nipples into her mouth, eliciting a moan from the elf. I decided to get in on that action and started sucking on her other nipple. Between the two of us, were had Merrill moaning in the cutest way while muttering praises to Mythal.

After I'd gotten the nipple I was sucking on good and hard, I decided to leave both breasts to Leliana and make my way down Merrill's body. I dipped my tongue into Merrill's belly-button as I moved my way down, finally spreading her legs to reveal her dripping womanhood, topped with a cute patch of raven fuzz. I leant in and licked along the slit, earning a loud squeak from Merrill. I then spread her lips apart with my thumbs and licked all over her flower, teasing her entrance with the tip of my tongue before pushing it in. Merrill mewled in ecstasy as my tongue thrust within her, curling up on the withdraw to rub against her clit. When her cries became muffled, I glanced to see Leliana smothering her in a heated make-out frenzy. I decided that now was the best time to kick it into overdrive and started sucking on her clit. I even inserted two of my fingers into her orifice and started thrusting and curling them within her.

In a matter of moments Merrill's cries of ecstasy reached a crescendo, and her walls clenched around my fingers. I helped her ride out her orgasm before withdrawing my fingers, now slick with her juices. But before I could do what _any_ red-blooded person would do, Leliana grabbed my wrist and put my fingers in her mouth. The sight of her sucking on my fingers was intensely arousing, not to mention the feel of it. Once she had effectively cleaned my fingers off, Leliana took them out of her mouth and smiled seductively at me.

"Now it's your turn, hero," she said as she pushed me down onto the bed. She then undid the laces on my trousers and pulled them off of me, taking the underwear with them. Now free of it's restraints, my penis stood up like a flagpole. Grasping it gently with one hand, Leliana began to slowly pump my length. Giving me one last, seductive smile, she then proceeded to slowly take my dick into her mouth. I gasped and groaned in pleasure as more of my manhood slid past her luscious lips until she reached the base, and then pulled back until only the head remained in her mouth. She sucked on the head for while, drawing moans out of my mouth, before she gripped the base of my dick and started pumping again while bobbing her head up and down.

It was around this time that Merrill seemed to recover from her orgasm. She crawled up behind Leliana and began using one of her long fingers to play with the bard's womanhood. This elicited a moan from Leliana, causing her mouth to vibrate my manhood, which in turn elicited a moan from me. Merrill continued to play with Leliana's pussy, eventually adding her tongue into the mix. Leliana's moans steadily increased in volume and frequency as the little blood mage fingered and ate her cunt, as did the rate at which she pumped and sucked on my dick. I propped myself up on one elbow and placed my other hand on Leliana's head, gripping her hair as her tongue caressed the underside of my penis from within her mouth. As Leliana's moans became louder and more needy, she released my dick with her hand and proceeded to take even more of me into her mouth with each bob while sucking even harder. I held out as long as I could until Leliana's orgasm hit her and she screamed around my length, causing me to blow my load into her mouth.

Leliana continued to suck my dick for a moment before pulling it out with a _'pop'_. Giving me a sexy smile, she then turned to Merrill and proceeded to French the little blood mage while pushing her down onto the bed. She then started placing little kisses all down her body until she reached her center. Hiking Merrill's legs over her shoulders, Leliana inserted two fingers into her vagina and started sucking on her clit. Merrill gripped Leliana's hair and closed her eyes as she let her head fall back and moaned.

While watching this erotic display, I realized that I was still hard, and decided to take advantage of that. Moving up behind Leliana and using a hand to position myself at her entrance, I then grabbed onto her hips and proceeded to push my manhood deep within her core, earning a deep, needy moan from the bard. Once my sword was buried to the hilt, I established a steady rhythm of thrusting that wasn't too fast or too slow. Her inner walls felt amazing around my cock, and despite being so tight, her pussy was plenty slick enough for me to slide in and out with ease.

As I continued to fuck Leliana doggy-style, her moans increased, as well as her ministrations to Merrill. I decided to pick up the tempo and started thrusting faster and harder at a steady rate, until I was burying myself to the hilt with every thrust. By this point Leliana was eating Merrill out with such gusto that the elf quickly came with a squeal. And yet despite this, Leliana showed no signs of stopping until she was finished. For Merrill's sake, I wrapped an arm around Leliana's waist and pulled her up against me. This changed the angle in which I was thrusting, giving us both a whole new kind of pleasure as Leliana lay her head back on my shoulder and buried a hand in my hair. Leliana's moans increased dramatically as she rocked her hips to match my thrusts, and soon I was blowing my load into her as she screamed my name. We both stayed where we were until we could catch our breaths, and the Leliana pulled my head in for a passionate kiss.

"I hope you two haven't forgotten about me." We broke the kiss as we both looked at Merrill, sitting with a cute, pouty lip.

Leliana laughed as she moved off of me, my penis surprisingly still hard, and laid down on the bed off to the side. I crawled over to Merrill as she lay down expectantly and nestled myself between her legs. I kissed her lips as I positioned myself at her entrance, but stopped when she turned her head slightly.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, worrying that I'd messed up somehow.

"No, of course not! It's just that…" Merrill said hesitantly, blushing. "I don't mean to be a bother, but could I…be on top?" I stared at her blinkingly for a moment before I smiled and rolled us over. Merrill's blush deepened as she smiled down at me. "Thank you," she said as she raised herself over me and slowly lowered herself onto my manhood.

I groaned as her pussy encompassed my length; she was even tighter than Leliana! Once she'd completely lowered herself onto me, she sat there for a moment to allow her pussy to adjust before she started rocking her hips. I was content to simply lay there and let Merrill do as she pleased, but apparently Leliana had other ideas. Without so much as a warning, Leliana straddled my head and lowered herself onto my face. Not being one to disappoint, I happily grabbed her hips and began eating her out for all she was worth while her red carpet tickled my nose. Leliana immediately joined Merrill in her chorus of moans as she began rocking her hips against my face. It was all I could do to held her hips as steady as possible so she didn't break my nose with her face-humping. By this point Merrill had stopped rocking her hips and was now bouncing up and down on my dick. I began to thrust up into her, burying my cock with her as I buried my tongue inside of Leliana's pussy. Merrill braced herself with her hands on my stomach as she bounced even faster, and I began curling my tongue inside of Leliana while sucking on her pussy. Both of their moans reached a peak before they both came with a scream. Leliana came all over my face and in my mouth, and Merrill slammed herself down on me before her walls clenched my dick, forcing me to cum with them.

Leliana removed herself from my face and lay down beside me as Merrill collapsed on top me. Even I felt like I'd finally reached me limit as I lay there with my two Dragon Age dream girls.

"Mythal, that was amazing," Merrill said as she nuzzled my neck.

"My thoughts exactly," Leliana said as she snuggled up to us. "Except with the Maker, of course."

"Yeah, that was-" But before I could finish my sentence, I felt a strong, terrible presence within the Taint. I quickly sat up at put my hands on my head, accidentally throwing poor Merrill off of me as a low, dark, and seductive song filled my head until it felt like it would explode.

"Warden, what's wrong?" Leliana asked, concern in her voice as she touched my arm.

The song sang to me, called to me, but knew I couldn't succumb to it. I had to fight it! I jumped off the bed and began collecting my clothes.

"We need to go, _now!_"

* * *

I ran down the corridors as fast as I could with Leliana and Merrill close behind, all of us fully dressed and armed. It seemed strange that I now knew exactly where to go in this castle, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was getting out of her before _he_ showed up! I rounded one last corner, down a small staircase, and straight to a set of large, wooden doors. Without pausing for breath, I throw open the doors and rushed outside, the girls right behind me.

An open courtyard stretched out before us, a wrought iron gate behind it. If we could just make it to there, we'd be safe! But before we could take another step, the sky darkened, and a terrible roar filled the air as a gigantic beast swooped down from the sky and landed directly in front of us. It's dark, putrid hide was rotting, and it's eyes were a milky white as the Archdemon unfurled it's wings.

"Oh no," Leliana said, unable to draw back the arrow nocked to her bow.

"Oh no!" Merrill said, covering her mouth in terror.

"Oh no," I said, feeling my courage from before failing me in the face of an Tainted Old God.

The Archdemon loomed over us, a deep rumble in it's throat as it stared us down. I was raised my shield as it opened it's terrible maw, prepared for anything, _except _for what came out; a black Kool-Aid Man with a darkspawn sword.

"_OH YEAH!"_

* * *

My eyes snapped open as I jolted awake. I lay there staring into the darkness for what felt like hours before I reached over to my nightstand for my watch. Finding it, I pressed the _light_ button on it, and groaned when it said _4:02_.

"That is the _last_ time I watch Family Guy until midnight!"

* * *

_Well, there you are! I certainly hope it was worth the wait! Next I'll be finishing the Super Smash Singles request I've been stuck on, and then it's off to Vhenan'ara!_


End file.
